Healing is our own Work: A Dive into the show Love Is.
Disclaimer: This blog has spoilers.
Hello Flower Tribe,
I'm sure many of us are going through withdrawals now that the show Love Is has ended its first season!
If you watched the show then you analyzed the love story of Yasir and Nuri. Love Is showcased a black love story between the executive producer of Girlfriends & The Game and her husband. The story dove into their love story and to add an element of flavor to the show, it was filled with 90s R&B music.
The love story of the characters, Yasir and Nuri had many positive elements. Their love story was filled with authentic love, passion, patience and understanding. Their love story was exciting, fresh and new... and free. The characters were well chosen and if you allowed yourself you could likely connect with each character in some way.
The character Nuri was one that I connect to from a space of both understanding and concern. Nuri was a beautiful, successful, established young African American woman who fell in love with the character Yasir. Yasir was an up and coming artist, trying to find his way into the industry. Nuri met him in the midst of him searching for his career and himself. He was in a transitional space and was working avidly to get to his next level.
The two fell in love quickly and worked together to maintain a lasting relationship. As their relationship developed, Nuri encountered many pieces of Yasir. He had several open wounds, some of which bled on her. Nuri remained so patient and worked avidly with and for Yasir to make their relationship work. She supported Yasir continuously and fully and helped him to overcome many of his own triumphs and short- comings.
I loved the commitment and dedication that this couple had to one another. Their love story connected to the younger woman in me, but the older woman in me was concerned about the the message it sent to younger women and girls watching this show. In fact, so much that I felt the need to raise awareness to a few facts.
Concerns:
1. It was not Nuri's job to heal Yasir.
2. Many love stories like theirs do not work out. (I'm not being pessimitic, but rather factual.)
Healing and overcoming past trauma is the job of an individual. We all bring to the table our own unique experiences and hurt. We all have things we are working on to fix and overcome, but getting ourselves into a healthy mental space is self-work.
Nuri's desire to heal Yasir was likely a reflection of herself. The conversation of healing should not only be centered around Yasir. Through Nuri's work, she could benefit from boundary setting, and resolving some of her own wounds which lead her to a love interest like Yasir. Yasir was her mirror.
All in all, the show was great, not only for the love story, but also the conversations that arose connected to love and relationships.
With that being said, below are a few lessons that emerged from watching the show and that I've picked up along the way.
1. Healing is the responsibility of an individual.
2. You cannot be more committed to someone else's progress than they are their own.
3. No matter how much you love someone else, your love is not more healing than their own self-work.
4. Change is the work of an individual. You cannot make anyone change.
5. Even when in love, you have to set boundaries. They are healthy and necessary.
6. You should never love your partner more than you love yourself. That is not for the benefit of either party.
7. Self-care should never stop.
Love always,
Courtney
Tee is available on the website: www.onesun3flowers.com
About the author:
Courtney Brookins is a mother, poet, author and educator. She published her first book, Flowering Yourself, which is a collection of poems. She is also the co-founder of OneSun3Flowers with her two daughters, which is an empowerment and leadership organization for women, girls, mothers and daughters centered around practicing self-care and building healthy relationships.
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