She's not too getting Black. He's not too Pale. Stop Teaching Our Children Colorism!!!
Hello Flower Tribe,
Happy Belated Summer Solstice! We are officially in the summer season! I know for many, this is your favorite season, and how can we blame you? Longer hours of day light, frequent BBQs, fireworks, pools, beaches, more time with family and friends. What's not to love?!
If you're a part of a community of color, then you may also know that with summer, comes some age-old expectations about the sun. Traditionally, highlighted in conversations about the summer, are insertions about complexion and expectations on how much we may or may not need to tan.
Yep, in 2018, conversations on color as still being spread to our children. What's even sadder is we know the long term effects of making separative statements and the historical connotations of them yet we continue. A summer cannot seem to go by without warnings about "not getting too black" or "needing more sun because you're looking to pale." As if to say we don't already have enough to worry about besides how much sun exposure we are or aren't getting.
The even more sad thing is listening to children internalize these statements. I hear children embodying this ideology and using it on themselves and on their peers. I have literally heard children speak about missing opportunities to enjoy the light of day because they are worried about getting too dark and others staying outside longer than they desire so that they can become brown enough.
As a mother, aunt, godmother, educator and community advocate, I have to ask, when is enough enough? In the day and age of Black Girl Magic, Black Boy Joy and an entire Wakanda Forever movement, I wonder why we are still having conversations that create separation within our own race. We have to choose. Either we choose to destroy our community or we choose to build it. In building, we must choose to empower and love ourselves and each other.
As we continue to enjoy the summer, I hope our conversation about light expands beyond our skin and creates a new wave in our way of thinking. Here are a few suggestions to help us move forward as a community and as individuals.
1. Enjoy this weather and the sunlight. Light is good for the soul. Don't let others' opinions dictate how and what you enjoy.
2. Avoid & call out devise conversations about colorism, texturism, etc. If "black is beautiful" then we should just leave it there.
3. Deal with your wounds and insecurities. It is a great idea to find a therapist, friend or loved one to share your experiences. Your own healing is essential for yourself and the community at large.
4. Allow children to accept and love all parts of them without unnecessary criticisms. Keep negative statements to yourself!
5. Evaluate & remove outdated mentalities and statements. They may seem harmless, but they can have more of an affect that you realize.
6. Be intentional with your words. The very statements that have caused your grief and/or insecurities should not be re-created in the life of another child.
7. Allow children to enjoy their childhood. Self-hatred shouldn't be taught through their family or community.
I love you all.
Courtney
T-Shirt is sold at www.onesun3flowers.com
About the author:
Courtney Brookins is a mother, poet, author and educator. She published her first book, Flowering Yourself, which is a collection of poems. She is also the co-founder of OneSun3Flowers with her two daughters, which is an empowerment and leadership organization for women, girls, mothers and daughters.
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